Last night, I was working my restaurant shift and a mid-twenty-something man walked in. Thinking he was someone else, I casually said, "Hey" then quickly thought, "Crap! I don't know this guy at all." Attempting to save face - mine and the restaurant's - I walked over to where he sat at the bar and apologized for my overly casual greeting. However, after getting a closer look at him, I realize I did know him...I thought. But, I definitely wasn't going to mention it unless I knew for sure. Since he was waiting for a to-go order, I asked the bartender for the name on the order, and it was exactly what I had expected it to be. So, I went back over to him and withdrew my apology, informing him that as it turned out I knew exactly who he was, but hadn't seen him since he graduated high school in 2002, three years ahead of me. We chit-chatted (or chat-chitted for you Dane Cook fans) for a few minutes while his order was completed about what we've been up to for the last nine years. We discussed our jobs, his pregnant wife, the musical we were both involved with in high school, and randomness. As he was leaving, he started to say something but stopped. When I asked what he'd said, he dismissed it and walked out of the restaurant. I returned to what I had been doing before he came in and not even thirty seconds later he stood in front of me again. "If I weren't married, I'd definitely ask you out. You're a beautiful woman."
To quote Reese Witherspoon as June Carter in 'Walk the Line', "There's too many 'if's in that sentence." If he weren't married, he wouldn't have even been in the restaurant last night picking up dinner for his wife with whom he's expecting his first daughter next month. If he weren't married, he might be dating someone else anyway. If he weren't married, the scenarios are endless. But none of those scenarios matter because he is married.
While I appreciated the ego boost of his compliment, it was completely inappropriate. And, to make it worse, he obviously knew this or he wouldn't have stopped himself from saying it when he left the restaurant the first time. He knew it was wrong, but made the effort of coming back inside to say it anyway. He almost did the right thing...then messed it up!
So, I guess the point of my rambling is this: If you're with someone, be completely devoted. You will still notice and appreciate other people, but you shouldn't verbalize it or act on it in any way. If you aren't happy with your relationship, get out. It is more fair to end a relationship than only be in it by technicality. A relationship should be more about love than obligation. If your heart isn't in it, neither are you. Be faithful or be done.