Life - It Happens

Just over three years ago, I posted a semi-apologetic update of my previous year because I had neglected to write anything during that time.  However, it has now been three years since I last posted and I don't even feel guilty.  I don't feel guilty because I've been quite busy!

April 2013 - Brandon and I became foster parents to a relative's baby.  This was unexpected and we didn't have but a couple days to prepare.  He stayed with us for about six weeks before returning home.  Also, my nephew who was mentioned as likely to be a preemie was born completely healthy and only a couple days before his due date.

May 2013 - We got married!!  While on our honeymoon we only ate at new restaurants, watched new-to-us movies (it rained a lot), and enjoyed activities that at least one of us had never experienced, such as horseback riding (a first for him) and getting tattoos (a first for me).

May 2014 - We celebrated our one-year anniversary on a Friday and welcomed our son on Sunday!  It was an exhausting and exciting weekend for us!

May 2015 - A few days before our son's first birthday, I left my full-time job to make raising him a priority.  There have been hard days, of course, but he is so worth it.  I am very happy to be able to spend my days with this sweet, little miracle who adores me.

As you can imagine, becoming a mother has kept me quite busy, but today I finally got an opportunity while both husband and son were napping to sit down and start writing again.  I've been working on a book which I may or may not ever finish for many years now and also have decided to start writing about a new experience that I'm going through - gestational surrogacy.  Currently, I am 34 weeks pregnant with a healthy, strong boy who will travel home with his biological family once released from the hospital.  It's been an interesting journey thus far, but rewarding in that I know that I'm making the impossible possible for his mother.

Time Flies

  Wow!  It has been an amazingly long time since I last posted, and I would feel guilty if anyone besides Chelsea* actually read this blog on a semi-regular basis.  Because it has been over a year, I'll give you a timeline update.  Quick refresher: In November 2011, I met Brandon and he's part of the reason I stopped having as much time to write.

• February 2012 - I started working in a salaried Internet Sales Consultant position for a local car dealership.
• April 2012 - Painting became a new hobby that I have spent far too much money on.  It's a wonderful pastime for evenings of watching 'Buffy: The Vampire Slayer' while Brandon plays hockey.  I'll post some pictures soon (hopefully) of some of my creations.  So far, I'm playing it safe and sticking to landscapes and flowers.
• May 2012 - Brandon and I adopted a kitten, Salene, who has adapted well to living with the crazy dachshund babies, Ellie and Molly.

Salene, Molly, and Ellie having a snuggle while I painted.

• May 2012 - Brandon and I bought our first home together.  A big step toward being responsible adults!
• July 2012 - Brandon and I bought a new-to-us car and I bought my car (which was already mine) from my dad who had originally purchased it many years ago when I was 17.  So, now I'm 25 with a house, two cars, and various types of insurance, retirement plans, etc.  I suppose, I'm officially a grown-up.
• September 2012 - Brandon took me to Nashville.  I'd never been before, but will definitely be looking forward to going back!  We were planning to go to the Nashville Predators hockey game, but because the NHL was in lockout we ended up shopping, site seeing, and walking a lot.  Being the huge goober that I am, I wore my newish boots that I'd had only a couple weeks...this was a big mistake.  We walked more than two miles from Honky Tonk Central
  to The Parthenon.  My feet were rather angry with me.

• September 2012 - Brandon proposed!!  I was on the phone with my dad the evening after we returned from Nashville when I found my engagement ring hidden under my laptop.  Brandon knew I would come home and immediately get online, but he wasn't expecting me to be talking to my dad while this happened.  It was hilariously imperfect and wonderfully perfect at the same time.  I guess I should have known he was up to something when he so eagerly offered me a foot massage (which I did actually get after the proposal).
• November 2012 - My birthday came back around as it has a tendency to do.  I'm 25 now, so I feel like I'm not a kid anymore - even though I do still look 16-years-old.
• December 2012 - Brandon and I managed to both have four days off together for Christmas thanks to some schedule rearranging and a blizzard that trapped us in our house.  It made for a wonderful opportunity to watch all of the 'Harry Potter' movies and play NHL Monopoly which was Brandon's Christmas present from my dad.

  I have quite a lot to look forward to in the coming months, but I'll try to remember to post more than once per year.  I've been rather busy planning the wedding - even before the proposal we'd already decided on the date, venue, officiant, and DJ.  Here's a sneak peak into the next few months.

• In March, Brandon and I are headed to Chicago for a weekend hockey tournament.  I'll get to see the green river for St. Patrick's day!  I'm hoping it'll just be cold instead of insanely freezing while we're there.
• My sister is pregnant with her first son (also the first family grandbaby), and he'll be making his appearance sometime between now and April.  He's expected to be a preemie as she's only 6 months along and has gone into labor three times.  Please pray, send good vibes, or cross your fingers (whichever is your style) that my sister and her baby are happy and healthy.
• Brandon and I are having a May wedding and still have a considerable amount of planning to do.  Decorations still need to be finalized as well as who is going to decorate for us.  I have no idea who is going to do my hair or how I'm having it done.  Neither of my sisters (bridesmaids) nor the mothers (mine and his) have dresses picked out, let alone ordered or altered.  My dress needs the train cut off and the hem redone.  Food and drinks need to be figured out as well.  We've not had engagement photos taken or ordered invitations.  Half the guest list (his half) doesn't even have addresses.  I haven't found the shoes I intend to wear.  The list continues, but I keep reminding myself that I got through college as a procrastinator who works well under high pressure.  (Deep breaths!)
• Oh, then there's the honeymoon.  We haven't made any plans, but I won two "free" honeymoons through two different bridal shows, so that shouldn't be too difficult to take care of, in theory.  Mountains and/or the ocean will be involved!

Emotional Overload

I have waited many weeks to write this because 1) I promised I wouldn't immediately post it online for the whole world to read and 2) I wasn't ready to share.  However, I feel the need to let go of some of what I am feeling.

Several weekends ago, my mom made plans with me under the false pretense that she missed me and wanted to spend time together.  Shortly after arriving at my apartment (one preview into the DVD we had chosen) she told me that she had filed for divorce from my dad that morning and had already made plans to remarry.  I feel so many emotions that I can't figure out how to react or ultimately feel.  I am sad, relieved, hurt, confused, angry, and so many other emotions that I can't figure them all out.

"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." -  Mark 10:11-12

"If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him." - 1 Corinthians 7:12-13

Reading scripture only makes me feel more confused about how to feel because it gives me more reason to be upset with my mom instead of comforting me.  Loving friends and family members get me through each day (even when they don't know it).  To summarize: Divorce sucks and life is hard.

Big Changes

Yesterday was a pretty great day all-in-all. I slept in until 8am which is pretty late for me, considering I'm usually up between 5:30-7am. The morning and afternoon were spent folding laundry and watching numerous hours of 'Buffy: The Vampire Slayer' - the latter part of that being exponentially better than the previous. Just before leaving to hostess at Biaggi's, I received a phone call from a staff member of Big Brothers Big Sisters...I finally have a Little Sister match, an 8-year-old who has been waiting two years for a Big Sister! Next Wednesday I'll get to meet her and her family and start making plans to hang out with her regularly. Now we all just need to cross our fingers that she has fun with me and I manage to in some way make a positive difference in her life.

In other news, I left my job at the sign shop (they threw me an awesome going away party with pizza, cupcakes, and chocolate chip cookie bars) and started as a full time Sales Associate at a local jewelry store. Having absolutely no knowledge of jewelry and very limited experience in sales, its a slow learning process. But, there is learning going on. My Team Members are all incredibly pleasant, encouraging, and patient. Although I'm working more hours, I feel productive and the time passes quickly. My commute is ten times the 2.5 minutes that it was to Signs By Design, but that means more time to sing in the car.

Focus on Forgiveness

I was challenged through December and the beginning of January to pick a word that would define my focus for 2011, and I chose "forgive".

Throughout this year I have struggled and grown both personally and spiritually in ways that I am very proud of, but I know I still have much to do.  A lot of this growth has been centered around my emotional battle to forgive those who have hurt me and to forgive myself for my own wrongs which I think is just as important.  I was talking recently with a friend about how as I forgive others I feel more at peace and happy, but since then I have been experiencing something that is making it necessary for me to re-forgive someone who has already been forgiven for so much that it is difficult.  However, I know that I have to because holding anger in my heart against someone really only punishes me.  Besides, as much as God forgives me for, it is my responsibility to forgive others just the same.

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15

"Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21-22

"Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:36-37

I can't upload the official music video for Chris August's "7x70" , so you'll have to deal with following the link provided or just reading the lyrics while you hear this song.

Big Brothers Big Sisters

I know that between three jobs and two puppies I should feel more than content with my current commitments; however, over the past month I have felt like something is missing.  When friends started talking excitedly about returning to college soon, I realized that I was kind of jealous.  Most definitely not because I wish I was still taking classes - I cannot explain how ecstatic I am to have graduated - but, because I can no longer be involved in student organizations.  I made them such a big part of who I was in college, and now that's over.
So, I started thinking about what I could do to fill that void without giving up every last moment of free time that I occasionally have.  Community engagement is what I feel I am missing, so it is what I sought.  I remembered that I met some ladies from Big Brothers Big Sisters at a Chamber Networking News meeting during my internship with the American Red Cross.  Shortly after sending a couple emails, filling out the appropriate paperwork, and waiting for reference checks, I was accepted and asked to an interview.  I was (unnecessarily) somewhat nervous about the interview.  What if I say the wrong thing?  What if I don't know how to answer a question?  Turned out I was silly to feel that way.
I have just gotten home from the best interview ever - at least for me.  I met with two ladies from Big Brothers Big Sisters at Barnes & Noble and chat-chitted about everything that popped into our heads while also discussing the responsibilities of a Big, the potential obstacles that might be experienced with a Little, and appropriate boundaries to set with the Little and the Little's family so as not to feel burdened.  It was wonderful to sit in an interview where everyone was sharing.  In fact, we were there for three hours.  I left feeling like I had known these women for years, and even have plans to meet one of them at the church I was already planning to check out near my apartment.  So, be on the look-out for my post about my Little match, because I'm really excited!