Through a very steady, cold, downpour I walked in the Race for the Cure this morning with my mom, younger sister, and her friend while another friend competed in the timed race. Our walk was long and drenching while his run was fast and accomplishing, earning him 26th place overall and 3rd place in our age range. Rather surprisingly, my team also succeeding in raising nearly $150 for Susan G. Komen for the Cure.
However, the more important event of the day was seeing both of my sisters. I wish my brother had been there too! There are days when I take my siblings for granted and don't appreciate them quite as much as I should. Today was not one of those days. I had not seen my older sister for at least three months, and so much has happened over the course of those three months that it seems like a lifetime. I talk to her and to our younger brother and sister often on the phone or through text messaging, but seeing them in person warms my heart and encourages me in ways I cannot describe. It's amazing how we support and take care of each other in ways that seem both completely natural and also extraordinary. My siblings are blessings in my life for which I thank God.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
The View Came. The Understanding Did Not.
As you may have noticed in the past, I occasionally write comments on others' blog posts that are worthy of becoming their own blog posts. So, as I have done before, I have posted my comment below; however, it will make more sense if you read Will Montgomery's blog post 'Never Forget' before reading my response.
“The view came; the understanding did not.” Very poetic. Also very true.
Where I was: I was taking the I-STEP+ test in my high school. Because of the testing, no one told us what was happening, and I knew nothing…until after lunch when I got to my 5th period class and didn’t leave it for the rest of the day. We sat nearly silently as we watched over and over again the same footage from different angles and with different “important” people commenting. But, like you, I didn’t understand.
Who I was: I was an awkward 13-year-old little girl, new to high school and completely out of place. I’d never heard of these buildings and didn’t realize the magnitude of what I was seeing. It didn’t quite sink in that “we” had been attacked. I lived in the middle of nowhere far from New York, and to me “they” had been attacked, “they” had died, and “they” had suffered. It wasn’t until I saw my parents’ and grandparents’ reactions that I realized it affected “us” too.
Interesting story from that day: My little sister was three weeks short of her third birthday, and when I came home from school she was sitting on the floor just inside the door stacking wooden blocks. She built two tall, thin towers that were connected at the base and then, holding a rectangular block in her hand, knocked them down. This was before we turned on the TV to continue watching coverage. She didn’t know what she was doing, but the rest of us felt it. While we were watching that evening, just beyond the smoke a church was visible. She wasn’t at all concerned about the smoke or what had happened, but she did ask if the church would be okay."
Although this may be strange, I don't like to memorialize tragedies. The reason is not that I don't find them to be significant. The reason is not that I don't mourn for the people whose lives were directly affected or ended. The reason is that once I realized the horrific meaning of September 11th, 2001 it was too sad and awful for me to understand. It is still too sad and awful for me to understand.
I'm sure that the attack at Pearl Harbor and the Oklahoma City Bombing were just as horrible, just as devastating, and just as heart-breaking for those who were there, those whose families and friends lost loved ones, and those who heard the news. For the first half of my life, I was fortunate enough to have only read about such events in history books, overhear conversations referencing them, and watch movies inspired by these events. However, on September 11th, 2001 I became an experiencer of a defining moment.
“The view came; the understanding did not.” Very poetic. Also very true.
Where I was: I was taking the I-STEP+ test in my high school. Because of the testing, no one told us what was happening, and I knew nothing…until after lunch when I got to my 5th period class and didn’t leave it for the rest of the day. We sat nearly silently as we watched over and over again the same footage from different angles and with different “important” people commenting. But, like you, I didn’t understand.
Who I was: I was an awkward 13-year-old little girl, new to high school and completely out of place. I’d never heard of these buildings and didn’t realize the magnitude of what I was seeing. It didn’t quite sink in that “we” had been attacked. I lived in the middle of nowhere far from New York, and to me “they” had been attacked, “they” had died, and “they” had suffered. It wasn’t until I saw my parents’ and grandparents’ reactions that I realized it affected “us” too.
Interesting story from that day: My little sister was three weeks short of her third birthday, and when I came home from school she was sitting on the floor just inside the door stacking wooden blocks. She built two tall, thin towers that were connected at the base and then, holding a rectangular block in her hand, knocked them down. This was before we turned on the TV to continue watching coverage. She didn’t know what she was doing, but the rest of us felt it. While we were watching that evening, just beyond the smoke a church was visible. She wasn’t at all concerned about the smoke or what had happened, but she did ask if the church would be okay."
Although this may be strange, I don't like to memorialize tragedies. The reason is not that I don't find them to be significant. The reason is not that I don't mourn for the people whose lives were directly affected or ended. The reason is that once I realized the horrific meaning of September 11th, 2001 it was too sad and awful for me to understand. It is still too sad and awful for me to understand.
I'm sure that the attack at Pearl Harbor and the Oklahoma City Bombing were just as horrible, just as devastating, and just as heart-breaking for those who were there, those whose families and friends lost loved ones, and those who heard the news. For the first half of my life, I was fortunate enough to have only read about such events in history books, overhear conversations referencing them, and watch movies inspired by these events. However, on September 11th, 2001 I became an experiencer of a defining moment.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Focus on Forgiveness
I was challenged through December and the beginning of January to pick a word that would define my focus for 2011, and I chose "forgive".
Throughout this year I have struggled and grown both personally and spiritually in ways that I am very proud of, but I know I still have much to do. A lot of this growth has been centered around my emotional battle to forgive those who have hurt me and to forgive myself for my own wrongs which I think is just as important. I was talking recently with a friend about how as I forgive others I feel more at peace and happy, but since then I have been experiencing something that is making it necessary for me to re-forgive someone who has already been forgiven for so much that it is difficult. However, I know that I have to because holding anger in my heart against someone really only punishes me. Besides, as much as God forgives me for, it is my responsibility to forgive others just the same.
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15
"Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21-22
"Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:36-37
I can't upload the official music video for Chris August's "7x70" , so you'll have to deal with following the link provided or just reading the lyrics while you hear this song.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Mary Kay Party with a Purpose
Tonight I hosted a Mary Kay Party With a Purpose which was surprisingly successful for the small number of people who attended - my mom, my little sister, and one friend. We had some laughs, enjoyed the products, and placed some orders, but most importantly we fund-raised for Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Twenty-five percent of the consultant's profits from my party are being donated to my Race for the Cure team which definitely needs the help!
 |
| Learn more about Susan G. Komen for the Cure. |
 |
| Donate to my fundraising efforts. If you're local, you are also welcome to join my team! |
 |
| Place a Mary Kay order. Mention me within the next week and 25% of the profits will be donated. |
- Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover, $15
- TimeWise® 3-in-1 Cleanser, $18
- TimeWise® Miracle Set®, $90
- Oil Mattifier, $15
- Mineral Powder Foundation, $18
- Satin Hands® Pampering Set, $34
- Cream Eye Color, $13
- Ultimate Mascara™ , $15
 |
| Thank you! |
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Before the Morning
This weekend has been very difficult and trying for my family and me for reasons I'm not yet ready to share with the entire world. However, the services I attended this morning focused on Romans 8:28 and were very fitting for my mood and circumstances. Coincidentally, the story of Job was also mentioned, and I happen to have read it just yesterday.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28
I then came home and began listening to Christian music while playing and snuggling with the puppies. The song 'Before the Morning' by Josh Wilson spoke to me as well.
"Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?
~
Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see
~
Would you dare, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
~
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning
~
My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture
~
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
~
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning
yeah, yeah,
before the morning,
yeah, yeah
~
Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
memory, memory, yeah
~
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
~
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still got a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
~
com'n, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing
the pain you've been feeling,
just the dark before the morning
before the morning, yeah, yeah
before the morning, yeah, yeah
before the morning"
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?
~
Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see
~
Would you dare, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
~
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning
~
My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture
~
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
~
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning
yeah, yeah,
before the morning,
yeah, yeah
~
Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
memory, memory, yeah
~
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
~
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still got a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
~
com'n, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing
the pain you've been feeling,
just the dark before the morning
before the morning, yeah, yeah
before the morning, yeah, yeah
before the morning"
"...Weeping may endure through the night,
but joy comes with the morning."
but joy comes with the morning."
Psalm 30:5
We aren't meant to understand our circumstances in life, but we are meant to have faith and hope in God's unknown plans and in His love for us.
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